An Interview with Asako Hirariko

Kakita Brent: By Jigoku, we're in for a treat today!  As part of a temporary cease fire with the Phoenix, we at Kyuden Ryu are getting the pleasure of interviewing the legendary ninja Hirariko, hot ninja babe known for...certain sizable attributes!  Come on in, Hirariko-chan!

<small, wizened monk-type girl shuffles in>

Kakita Brent (looking about the Temple): Maybe she's here in the shadows or something...  I don't know what kind of trick this is, Hirariko, but I'm not buying it!

Wizened Monk Girl: I am Hirariko, Crane-sama.

Kakita Brent (looking over Hirariko): O MY KAMI!  What in Jigoku happened to you?  I mean you used to be

Asako Hirariko: Buoyant?

Kakita Brent: Bouncy.  I mean, heck, you looked like you were descended from the Dead or Alive school of ninjas...

Asako Hirariko: Well, Crane-sama, I should remind you that I am over forty years old...and all of the perks of being a servant of the Shadow wore off a long time ago.  You've gotta make some sacrifices when you fight for your soul.

Kakita Brent: Damn.

Kakita Brent (shrugging shoulders): Oh well, it's still great to have you here, Hirariko...I've always been a big fan of yours.  I was surprised to hear that you had joined the Phoenix Clan, though; how did that happen?

Asako Hirariko: Well, even among the ninja, I was always the philosophical type...while the Shadow Walker was prancing around muttering about 'you will be unmade' and stuff like that, I was trying to figure out deeper questions, like why we had such an overblown goal in mind.  Eventually, I decided that being a ninja wasn't for me...

Kakita Brent: So you went from one evil organization to another, and joined during FETA?

Asako Hirariko (shrugs): What can I say, I play to win...but then with the MRPs and everything, it's not exactly going as I hoped...not that being a henshin isn't cool.

Kakita Brent: Tell me about, enlightenment certainly seems to have panned out for you, saving your immortal spirit and all from consumption by the Lying Darkness.  What was it exactly that brought you know, that one defining moment of true knowledge...

Asako Hirariko: The hard part was destroying a terrain and putting a new one into play...I always had trouble with that one.

Kakita Brent: ...

Asako Hirariko: Sorry...what I meant to say was, "It all came together in the knowledge that I had found my place in the Celestial Order at last."

Kakita Brent: So, enlightenment is a pretty good racket, eh?

Asako Hirariko: Let's just say that I wish I had found this deal before going through all those chest-enhancement kihos just to distract my victims...

Kakita Brent: Well, it's good to have you back, Hirariko.  Any thoughts on the current state of affairs, what with Aikune detonating anyone who even looks at him cock-eyed?

Asako Hirariko: Poor kid...Aikune's just a fist looking for a wall.  Hopefully he'll wear himself out before he discovers that the Last Wish can do so much more than flame and stab...

Asako Hirariko: You ever seen a whole army transformed into sheep, Crane-sama?  It's not a pretty sight.

Kakita Brent: I'll bet...well, with Aikune and Kurohito allying now...hey, that's a good final question; Hirariko, you've been around, being a henshin and a ninja and all.  What do you think about this Akiko character; she's really been pushing this alliance recently...

Asako Hirariko (drumming fingers on daisho stand): I think I'd be more concerned about those two men putting THEIR heads together on something...even Akodo Kaneka can't fight with his head transformed into a carp.

Kakita Brent (grinning at the image): You've really been playing with this thing, huh?  So, do you think that we can get it away from Aikune for a while...

The End (for now...)