An Interview with Hitomi

Mirumoto Christopher: Well, here we are again with another electrifying interview! Today we have.....

Kakita Brent: Do I really have to stay for this?

Mirumoto Christopher: Yes.... Now stop interrupting. As I was saying, today we have.....

Kakita Brent: That's it! You are soooo Iaijitsu Dueled!

Hitomi: I am very busy.... Kill him later. I have places to go, people to Tattoo, kami to kill. You know...things.

Kakita Brent (shocked): AHHHHH!

Mirumoto Christopher (hurt): Hey! Aren't you on my side?

Mirumoto Christopher: Well, I guess that takes care of the introduction... and his help. Anyway, greetings most honored Lady of the Dragons.

Hitomi: I am still not sure why I agreed to do this. Let's get it over with.

Kakita Brent (muttering): That is fine by me, little-miss-Personal-Honor-of-1!

Hitomi (turning): And Force of 6...

Kakita Brent: Oh yeah? Well, guess what Hoturi said about you...

Mirumoto Christopher: Hey! I am trying to do an interview. A little consideration?

Kakita Brent (arms akimbo): Fine...

Mirumoto Christopher: Okay... well, we over here in Kyuden Ryu were wondering about the whole "Tattoo everyone" strategy. Does that not seem a bit extreme?

Hitomi: I am only looking for the very best to aid the Dragon in our time of strife...

Kakita Brent: Uh-oh...

Hitomi: Why, do you have a problem with it?

Mirumoto Christopher: No! I am already in the Clan, remember? Ma'am? Stop staring at me like that! Next question!

Kakita Brent (muttering...again): I knew it, psycho!

Hitomi (glaring at Kakita Brent): Coming from the Clan that made Yul Brenner their Champion...

Mirumoto Christopher: I told you! Everybody thinks so!

Kakita Brent: That's it! Both of you, Show Me Your Stance!

Mirumoto Christopher: Ignore the Crane Duelist, My Lady. Any new developments in the... um, Naga "unpleasantness?"

Kakita Brent: Why? They still kicking your...

Mirumoto Christopher: Hey! Quiet. That offends my honor!

Kakita Brent: You are already Iaijitsu Dueled. Stop while you are ahead.

Hitomi (glowering at the interviewers): Obviously, the Naga have not seen the True Path of the Dragon. Therefore, they are evil and must be destroyed.

Kakita Brent: ...

Hitomi: I will Tattoo them all and bring peace to Rokugan.

Kakita Brent (looking at Mirumoto Christopher): ...

Mirumoto Christopher (looking flustered): ...

Hitomi: What?

Mirumoto Christopher: Um,... nothing.

Mirumoto Christopher: So, My Lady...

Kakita Brent (interupting yet again): What is with your head?

Mirumoto Christopher: D'oh!

Hitomi: It means I am half kami. I have powers that you can't even dream of yet, much less understand.

Kakita Brent: Personal Honor 1, if I am not mistaken...

Mirumoto Christopher (acting quickly): But that means you can change your own destiny, unlike other kami. Correct?

Hitomi: Yes. And I intend to save the Empire from the nameless power of the Shadow. Nobody else could even name it, but I will defeat Lord Moon in a duel and save Rokugan.

Kakita Brent: Duel, did someone say "duel?"

Mirumoto Christopher (ignoring Kakita Brent): Kill Lord Moon? Won't that be a bit...um, difficult?

Kakita Brent (nodding sagely): You are going to need a bigger sword.

Mirumoto Christopher: One last question before you leave...

Kakita Brent: To fight the Moon...

Mirumoto Christopher: Yes, as a matter of fact. But, anyway My Lady... I just want to dispel all of those nasty Scorpion rumors. I am sure there is a perfectly logical explanation why you, um...did what you did at the Day of Thunder.

Kakita Brent: She stood there! Even I could have been a Thunder if that was all there was to it. You stood there, oh... and you killed one oni. Good job.

Hitomi: Do you ever shut up?

Kakita Brent: Ma'am, I am a Crane...

Mirumoto Christopher: Sigh...in other words, no.

Hitomi (advancing menacingly): I know how to shut you up...

Kakita Brent: Eep! I have to go.... NOW!

Hitomi: I have always wanted a real Kakita duelist in the family... Reju was such a bust.

Kakita Brent: OH-MY-KAMI!

Mirumoto Christopher (as Hitomi chases Kakita Brent around the Temple): Well, I guess that wraps up this interview. Such that it was... Please join us next time when I promise the interview WILL go smoothly. Until then, I am Mirumoto Christopher...

Kakita Brent (while fleeing): And I am Kakita Brent... or maybe Hitomi Brent, depending on how fast I can run!

Mirumoto Christopher: Good night, everybody!

The End (for now)