An Interview with
Hitomi Kobai
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Mirumoto
Christopher: Hello? Is this
thing on?
Kakita
Brent: Wait a minute…that’s Agasha’s Mirror…what are the Dragon
doing with it?
Mirumoto
Christopher: In their rush to leave, I think that they forgot it.
I figured that we could try it out, use it to get an up-to-date report.
Kakita
Brent: Huh?
Mirumoto
Christopher: Hello? Calling Hitomi
Kobai…are you there, Kobai?
Agasha’s
Mirror: Kzshshsssshha…
Mirumoto
Christopher: I think it’s broken.
Kakita
Brent: I think we need a shugenja.
Mirumoto
Christopher: That didn’t used to be a problem here…
Kobai’s
Voice: Hello? Am I on?
Mirumoto?
Mirumoto
Christopher: It works! Hello,
Kobai! How are the armies doing…I
trust that the feeble resistance of the Shadowlands has been crushed, and the
Goju already destroyed.
Hitomi
Kobai: …
Kakita
Brent: That’s not a good kind of silence.
Hitomi
Kobai: Well, on the plus side, I’m still alive. On the situation of the armies, um…lots of dead people.
Lots of undead people. Lots
of Oni…and a few missing their faces.
Mirumoto
Christopher: So I take it we haven’t reached Volturnum yet.
Hitomi
Kobai: No…Yakamo lost the map, and he refuses to ask for directions.
We’ve passed the same Festering Pit four times.
It’s really getting depressing.
Kakita
Brent: How are the Clans getting along?
Hitomi
Kobai: Well, let’s just say that there’s nothing like the threat of
impending doom to get people to work together.
I mean, I saw a Lion save a Crane today.
Kakita
Brent: You did not!
Hitomi
Kobai: OK, you’re right…I was trying to make a point. Basically, everyone is trying to out-kill one another now,
the Scorpion dig pits, the Crab smash things…who would have thought that there
were so many goblins here!
Mirumoto
Christopher: So, Kobai, I know you guys are busy down there, but I was
wondering…do you know where Togashi’s Daisho is? It was right here during the last Interview, and then I think
it got misplaced when Kokujin showed up for tea.
Hitomi
Kobai: You don’t know?
Mirumoto
Christopher: I’ve looked everywhere!
Hitomi
Kobai: Well, you can stop looking. Kokujin…um,
he…well…
Kakita
Brent: O MY KAMI…I think I can see where this is going.
Hitomi
Kobai: Kokjuin decided that he could no longer work for
Hoshi-sama…mentioned something about a Personal Honor of 4.
So he stole the Daisho, made an alliance with the Shadow, and is now
running amok down here.
Mirumoto
Christopher: ……………….
Kakita
Brent: D’oh…first one gets broken, now one gets stolen.
I think you guys should pick up some Doji Insurance for those ancient
weapons.
Hitomi
Kobai: Don’t worry! I,
personally, will find him, kill him, and bring the Daisho home!
I will bring honor back to my Lady’s name!
Mirumoto
Christopher (covering Mirror): His Chi is 2…right? I hope there are a lot
goblins for him to duel.
Kakita
Brent (removing hand): Kobai…you do know that Kokujin has Double Chi…
Hitomi
Kobai: Relax! I’ve got
everything under control. With the
help of a shadowy figure…
Kakita
Brent: I wish Kage would leave people alone.
Hitomi
Kobai: …I have worked out a battle plan that cannot fail!
Mirumoto
Christopher: Battle plan?
Hitomi
Kobai: Well, I have coated myself in a thin layer of Jade Paint.
Mirumoto
Christopher: Just so long as there’s no lead in it.
Hitomi
Kobai: Huh?
Kakita
Brent: Never mind. How are the
Crane doing, anyway?
Hitomi
Kobai: Well, the record stands. Whenever
something bad happens, it invariably happens to the Crane first.
Kakita
Brent: This sounds bad.
Hitomi
Kobai: Don’t worry…there was just this swarm of goblins and stuff…I
think Kuwanan got stabbed. It’s
kind of hard to follow, I mean this is a pretty big valley that we’ve been
trapped in.
Mirumoto
Christopher: Trapped? Valley?
Hitomi
Kobai: Forget I said that. The
shugenja said that he’ll be fine, and I sure hope so.
And that also said we will be victorious, and come home with minimal
losses.
Kakita
Brent: Really? Are you a fan of
Kuwanan-sama?
Hitomi
Kobai: Of course! I loved him
as the King of Siam!
Mirumoto
Christopher: If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times…I
told you!
Kakita
Brent: How’s that thousand year old sword set you guys had once?
Mirumoto
Christopher: Cheap shot.
Hitomi
Kobai: Yes, things are pretty bad down here.
I knew the Shadowlands would be harsh, but this is getting ridiculous.
Everywhere we go, Oni, Oni, Oni. At
least Fu Leng could have varied his creations a little more.
You’ve been swallowed by one gaping maw, you might as well have seen
them all.
Kakita
Brent: Toku can relate…do we have any other questions?
The Mirror’s starting to spark.
Mirumoto
Christopher: I understand that the Unicorn have their own little
“unresolved” problem…how are they dealing with that?
Hitomi
Kobai (image getting fuzzy): Oh….the Dark Moto. Yeah, they come around, riding horses…well, I think they
were horses, once. So far, it’s
just been ride and shoot…but I think something big is building.
Kakita
Brent: The combined might of the Clans heads to save the past of the Empire,
and he THINKS something big is building.
Mirumoto
Christopher (swatting Mirror): Ack! Kobai…I
think we’ll have to be leaving you now!
Kakita
Brent: And yet another of the Dragon ancestral items bites the dust.
Mirumoto
Christopher: I can fix it! Give
me some glue.
Hitomi
Kobai (fading away): Do you want me to bring something back?
The Yasuki have a souvenir stand set up already, and they sell the most
amazing things…porcelain masks, the Terrible War Standard of the Hida…
Kakita
Brent: Of the “Hida?”
Mirumoto
Christopher: I’ve heard of that…something about Beidan Pass…
Agasha's
Mirror: BOOM!
Kakita
Brent (peeking out from around corner): Well, so much for telling Kobai
goodbye.
Mirumoto
Christopher (from behind empty daisho stand): They’ll take this out of my
stipend, for sure…
Kakita
Brent: OK, that takes care of this interview…and Agasha’s Mirror.
We’ll pack up the pieces and mail them to the Phoenix…it’s the
least we can do. Good night,
everybody, and keep watching the shadows…as they are probably trying to kill
you.
Mirumoto
Christopher: Terrible Standard of the Hida…I know I’ve heard that
somewhere before.
The
End (For Now)