An Interview with
Christopher: Hello? Is this
Brent: Wait a minute…that’s Agasha’s Mirror…what are the Dragon
doing with it?
Christopher: In their rush to leave, I think that they forgot it.
I figured that we could try it out, use it to get an up-to-date report.
Christopher: Hello? Calling Hitomi
Kobai…are you there, Kobai?
Christopher: I think it’s broken.
Brent: I think we need a shugenja.
Christopher: That didn’t used to be a problem here…
Voice: Hello? Am I on?
Christopher: It works! Hello,
Kobai! How are the armies doing…I
trust that the feeble resistance of the Shadowlands has been crushed, and the
Goju already destroyed.
Brent: That’s not a good kind of silence.
Kobai: Well, on the plus side, I’m still alive. On the situation of the armies, um…lots of dead people.
Lots of undead people. Lots
of Oni…and a few missing their faces.
Christopher: So I take it we haven’t reached Volturnum yet.
Kobai: No…Yakamo lost the map, and he refuses to ask for directions.
We’ve passed the same Festering Pit four times.
It’s really getting depressing.
Brent: How are the Clans getting along?
Kobai: Well, let’s just say that there’s nothing like the threat of
impending doom to get people to work together.
I mean, I saw a Lion save a Crane today.
Brent: You did not!
Kobai: OK, you’re right…I was trying to make a point. Basically, everyone is trying to out-kill one another now,
the Scorpion dig pits, the Crab smash things…who would have thought that there
were so many goblins here!
Christopher: So, Kobai, I know you guys are busy down there, but I was
wondering…do you know where Togashi’s Daisho is? It was right here during the last Interview, and then I think
it got misplaced when Kokujin showed up for tea.
Kobai: You don’t know?
Christopher: I’ve looked everywhere!
Kobai: Well, you can stop looking. Kokujin…um,
Brent: O MY KAMI…I think I can see where this is going.
Kobai: Kokjuin decided that he could no longer work for
Hoshi-sama…mentioned something about a Personal Honor of 4.
So he stole the Daisho, made an alliance with the Shadow, and is now
running amok down here.
Brent: D’oh…first one gets broken, now one gets stolen.
I think you guys should pick up some Doji Insurance for those ancient
Kobai: Don’t worry! I,
personally, will find him, kill him, and bring the Daisho home!
I will bring honor back to my Lady’s name!
Christopher (covering Mirror): His Chi is 2…right? I hope there are a lot
goblins for him to duel.
Brent (removing hand): Kobai…you do know that Kokujin has Double Chi…
Kobai: Relax! I’ve got
everything under control. With the
help of a shadowy figure…
Brent: I wish Kage would leave people alone.
Kobai: …I have worked out a battle plan that cannot fail!
Christopher: Battle plan?
Kobai: Well, I have coated myself in a thin layer of Jade Paint.
Christopher: Just so long as there’s no lead in it.
Brent: Never mind. How are the
Crane doing, anyway?
Kobai: Well, the record stands. Whenever
something bad happens, it invariably happens to the Crane first.
Brent: This sounds bad.
Kobai: Don’t worry…there was just this swarm of goblins and stuff…I
think Kuwanan got stabbed. It’s
kind of hard to follow, I mean this is a pretty big valley that we’ve been
Christopher: Trapped? Valley?
Kobai: Forget I said that. The
shugenja said that he’ll be fine, and I sure hope so.
And that also said we will be victorious, and come home with minimal
Brent: Really? Are you a fan of
Kobai: Of course! I loved him
as the King of Siam!
Christopher: If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times…I
Brent: How’s that thousand year old sword set you guys had once?
Christopher: Cheap shot.
Kobai: Yes, things are pretty bad down here.
I knew the Shadowlands would be harsh, but this is getting ridiculous.
Everywhere we go, Oni, Oni, Oni. At
least Fu Leng could have varied his creations a little more.
You’ve been swallowed by one gaping maw, you might as well have seen
Brent: Toku can relate…do we have any other questions?
The Mirror’s starting to spark.
Christopher: I understand that the Unicorn have their own little
“unresolved” problem…how are they dealing with that?
Kobai (image getting fuzzy): Oh….the Dark Moto. Yeah, they come around, riding horses…well, I think they
were horses, once. So far, it’s
just been ride and shoot…but I think something big is building.
Brent: The combined might of the Clans heads to save the past of the Empire,
and he THINKS something big is building.
Christopher (swatting Mirror): Ack! Kobai…I
think we’ll have to be leaving you now!
Brent: And yet another of the Dragon ancestral items bites the dust.
Christopher: I can fix it! Give
me some glue.
Kobai (fading away): Do you want me to bring something back?
The Yasuki have a souvenir stand set up already, and they sell the most
amazing things…porcelain masks, the Terrible War Standard of the Hida…
Brent: Of the “Hida?”
Christopher: I’ve heard of that…something about Beidan Pass…
Brent (peeking out from around corner): Well, so much for telling Kobai
Christopher (from behind empty daisho stand): They’ll take this out of my
stipend, for sure…
Brent: OK, that takes care of this interview…and Agasha’s Mirror.
We’ll pack up the pieces and mail them to the Phoenix…it’s the
least we can do. Good night,
everybody, and keep watching the shadows…as they are probably trying to kill
Christopher: Terrible Standard of the Hida…I know I’ve heard that
End (For Now)