An Interview with Kage (formerly Akodo Kage)

 

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Kakita Brent: So, Mirumoto Christopher… what is this "big thing" you wanted to meet me about? This had better be important, I have three Iaijitsu Duels lined up for today.

Mirumoto Christopher (frowning): Me? The letter said you wanted to talk about something here at the Interviewing Temple. This is weird.

Shadowed Figure: Greetings, little samurai.

Kakita Brent: AHHHHH!

Mirumoto Christopher: AHHHHH!

Kage (stepping out of shadows): Now that is hardly dignified…

Kakita Brent: Good deal! I am summoning the Mirumoto House Guard right… now.

Mirumoto Christopher: Wait! This would be a great opportunity to interview the infamous Kage.

Kakita Brent: Okay… we will interview him. I knew you were a Kolat.

Mirumoto Christopher: I am not a Kolat!

Kakita Brent: I was not talking to you.

Mirumoto Christopher: I knew that. So, Kage…I have always wondered what exactly the Kolat do…

Kakita Brent: Yeah, what is you master plan?

Kage (thinking very hard): I… don't know. Well, I know we are evil. Definitely evil.

Mirumoto Christopher: Like the ninja?

Kage: Stop that! You little weasel, we are not the ninja. We have faces for one thing, see?

Mirumoto Christopher: How do I know that is your real face, sly one?

Kakita Brent: Come on, if that was not his real face, why would he be using it?

Kage:

Mirumoto Christopher: Good point, Brent-san.

Mirumoto Christopher: Now, Kage. I have to know… is Yul Brenner a Kolat?

Kage: I do not understand.

Mirumoto Christopher: You know Doji Kuwanan… Yul Brenner?

Kage: I don't get it.

Mirumoto Christopher (staring at Kakita Brent): This proves nothing, you know.

Kakita Brent: I hear you…

Mirumoto Christopher: Now, Kage. Everyone thought you died in the Day of Thunder…

Kage: heh, heh, heh. I have been hiding in the lands of the Crane.

Kakita Brent (muttering): fickin' Kolat.

Mirumoto Christopher (shocked): The Crane have ninja?

Kage: For the last time, we are not ninja!

Mirumoto Christopher (winking): Right. I understand.

Kakita Brent: What happened? Did they trademark the name?

Kage: Anyway, back to my story…

Kakita Brent: Right, go ahead.

Kage (glowering): While in the Crane provinces, I picked up a new lackey.

Kakita Brent: Yeah, Dorai. Great pick there, buddy. Pick of the litter.

Mirumoto Christopher: What's wrong with Dorai?

Kakita Brent: Nothing, if a 2F/2C random shujenga is your kind of thing.

Mirumoto Christopher: Please… the entire "shujenga" thing is still kind of a painful subject.

Kage: You know, with the Agasha gone to the Phoenix, I could help you out. He, he ,he.

Mirumoto Christopher: Quiet you, or I will duel you.

Kakita Brent (worried): Careful, Mirumoto Christopher! Remember that he is a ninja and has strange and mysterious powers.

Kage:

Kakita Brent: So, how exactly did you go from being a Revered Sensei to a Kolat Master? I mean, was there an interview or something?

Kage: It would kind of kill the secret society to have an interview, would it not?

Kakita Brent: Well then, answer the question.

Kage: You want me to reveal the secrets of the Kolat to you…

Mirumoto Christopher: Well, yes. If you do not mind…

Kage: I won the Kolat lottery, okay? I always had the lucky numbers, and the lackeys to rig the machine did not hurt things, either.

Mirumoto Christopher: Well, another mystery solved. Weird.

Kage: Meddling kids…

Kakita Brent: A parting thought for the Kolat Master… any predictions for future evil plans?

Kage: I am really not supposed to let you know until they have come to full fruition.

Kakita Brent: This is for posterity…

Kage: Well, then. Our greatest challenge to date… the assassination of…

Kakita Brent: Toturi?

Mirumoto Christopher: Toshimoko?

Kage: Toku.

Kakita Brent: OH-MY-KAMI!

Mirumoto Christopher: You people are evil in a way I never before imagined…need any help?

Kage (stepping back into the shadows): No, the plans are well under way.

Kakita Brent: Poor Toku…wait a minute! Why did he call us here?

Mirumoto Christopher: Truly, the ninja have eerie powers. Or maybe just for effect.

Kakita Brent: I see.

(Somewhere in the distance): I am not a frickin' ninja!

 

The End (for now)