An Interview with Kjgkt

Kakita Brent: You found him where?

Bayushi James: I already told you, he was in the basement.

Kakita Brent (rubbing forehead): And I already told you, we don't have a basement!

Bayushi James: We do now.  It's a pretty nice one, too.  Lots of space.  Anyway, he was praying and chanting and all that, so I figured he was that Dark Oracle again...so I hit him over the head with the daisho stand.

Kakita Brent: O MY KAMI!  James, he's four foot tall and green!  Even on his worst day Tamori does NOT look like a tiny dinosaur!  With informants like you, it's no wonder the Kolat are backpedaling!

Kjgkt: W-why does head hurt?

Kakita Brent: Calm down, little...whatever in Jigoku you are.  You're OK; you just...slipped and hit your head on a rock.  What are you anyway?

Kjgkt (sitting up): I...Kjgkt.  Zokujin.  Ally to Dragon Clan, friend of Shaitung.  Prophet of the Stones.

Bayushi James: A zokujin?  I thought that the Lion kept you guys locked up as slaves or something, forcing you to mine out their lands rather than do it themselves...

Kjgkt (shaking head): Won freedom.  Great joy.

Kakita Brent: How'd you manage that, little guy?  Bloodless coup?

Kjgkt: Lion taste like copper.

Bayushi James: ..............ewww.

Kakita Brent: Um, well anyway, Kij-gikt...

Kjgkt: KJGKT!  No vowels!

Kakita Brent: Whatever.  Why are you zokujin coming up to the Dragon mountains?  I mean, you couldn't have picked a worse time for it, what with the war and the stupidity of Mirumoto Tsuge and Tamori...

Kjgkt: Zokujin need jobs.  Move lava.  Build basements in rock.  No talents beyond basic labor...

Bayushi James (to Brent): I'm sensing a flaw in our non-human neighbors.  You don't suppose that the Naga just skipped out because they couldn't pay their bills or something, do you?

Kjgkt (holding out rocks): But I tell stones!  Tell future!

Bayushi James: I don't know...something about asking questions of rocks just makes me skeptical.

Kakita Brent (shrugging): Come on, we've never seen zokujin magic at work, and I'm sure the folks at home haven't either.

Kjgkt (throwing stones on ground): ...

Bayushi James: Well, come on, come on prophet!  Can't you make something up faster?  What's it say?

Kjgkt: You will die soon.

Bayushi James (to Brent): It's for you.

Bayushi James: Could you be a little more specific, Keg-giket?  I know it's hard for you prophets to supply useful information, but do try!

< Knock, Knock >

Kjgkt: Past crimes return to haunt you.  Sunlight burns and cuts.

Kakita Brent (moving to open door): Great, like I need this crap right now!  Look, get Kjgkt out of here before one of the real Dragon Clan members sees him.  This might be Satsu, or Mitsu or something!

Bayushi James: Done and done.

WHAM!

Bayushi James (dusting off hands): For a guy that eats rocks, old Kiggy sure was light.  So, what do you think that whole "past crimes" and "sunlight burns" stuff was about?  Just a boozed up zokujin pulling our kimono?

Kakita Brent (looking out door): I have no idea...but on an unrelated note, you just decked Toturi Tsudao with a zokujin prophet.

Bayushi James: Did I kill her?

Kakita Brent: No...but she looks really mad.

Bayushi James: Brent, I would like to lock the doors now.

Kakita Brent: Considering what happened to Paneki, I would agree.  At least now we have a basement to hide in.

The End (for now...)