Kakita
Brent (elated): I arranged a guest! I
arranged a guest!
Mirumoto
Chris (impressed): Really?
Kakita
Brent: Yep! He’ll be along
any minute. I think you’ll like
him.
Mirumoto
Chris: It better not be Yoritomo again!
We gave him back what was left of Aramasu…what more did he want?
Bald
Guy: Hello.
Mirumoto
Chris: EGAD!
Bald
Guy: What?
Mirumoto
Chris: I didn’t mean it! It
was a joke…you can take a joke, right? (Pulling out wakizashi).
Mirumoto
Chris (to Kakita Brent): You’ll be my second, right?
Kakita
Brent: Eh…I’m kind of busy…
Bald
Guy: Wait a moment son…I think that there’s a misunderstanding.
I seem to be a little lost. My
name is Brenner, Yul Brenner.
Mirumoto
Chris: ……………I don’t have to commit seppuku?
Doji
Kuwanan: Got you! See, I can be
funny too, just like you.
Kakita
Brent: But he’s not funny!
Doji
Kuwanan: That is true…now put that sword down and interview me.
I’ve got a long walk back to Volturnum.
Mirumoto
Chris: Don’t take this the wrong way…but I thought we had a stranglehold
on the “cool bald guy” corner of Rokugan?
Why’d you steal our bit?
Doji
Kuwanan: Let’s just say…if you’re thinking about giving yourself a
quick trim with the naginata, be warned. You’re
cruisin’ for trouble.
Kakita
Brent: So, honorable Champion, anything interesting going on in Volturnum?
Has the Shadow broken down yet?
Doji
Kuwanan: All I know is the ize zumi keep bursting into light,
Scorpion guys run around waving crystal, and every once in a while Toku runs
through screaming in terror. Takes
me back to the Day of Thunder…
Kakita
Brent: Speaking of battles, I was just wondering…how good a tactician are
you?
Doji
Kuwanan: What do you mean?
Kakita
Brent: Could you cancel the Tactician ability of…oh, I don’t know…Toturi?
Mirumoto
Chris: And Kaagi! Could you
beat him! He’s so annoying with
that “I’m the only Tactician!”
Doji
Kuwanan: Yes, yes I suppose I could.
Kakita
Brent: So…you’re saying that you are a better Tactician than the
Emperor, the legendary Toturi…and Kaagi.
Basically, that would make you the best Tactician in Rokugan, right?
As in, the Crane have the best Tactician in Rokugan?
Doji
Kuwanan: I guess you could look at it that way.
Mirumoto
Chris: Wait a minute…Crane…best Tactician in Rokugan…oh, I’m so
confused.
Doji
Kuwanan: I get that a lot.
Mirumoto
Chris: Oh, about Volturnum…I’m told that you and Uji are fighting
together, and reports have placed you posing dramatically on a hill, with Isawa
Tadaka in the clouds? Why is Tadaka
there? I get you…I get Uji…but
Tadaka’s a Phoenix!
Doji
Kuwanan: Hoturi said that he had “business.”
Kakita
Brent: Aaah.
Mirumoto
Chris (looking back and forth): What? I
don’t get it!
Kakita
Brent: Never mind, never mind. As
the end of the great battle of Oblivion’s Gate approaches, the big question up
here in Dragon Country is…who is the Shadow Champion? Any thoughts?
Doji
Kuwanan: Shadow Champion? What
do you mean?
Mirumoto
Chris (panicked): Ix-nae on the giving away of the plot-a!
Kakita
Brent (smiling sheepishly): Never mind, honorable Kuwanan-sama.
I must be making up plot elements again!
I do that sometimes.
Doji
Kuwanan (looking suspicious): Right…
Mirumoto
Chris (now desperate): Umm…how’s Shizue?
Still with the Kolat?
Doji
Kuwanan: The Kolat have her?
Kakita
Brent: What was that about not giving away the plot?
Mirumoto
Chris: Shut up! SHUT UP!
Kakita
Brent: OK, OK…everybody just calm down.
Let’s just take a deep breath…that’s better.
Mirumoto
Chris (hyperventilating): I’m…just…fine…now…
Doji
Kuwanan: I have never been happier that some samurai were left behind for
this war.
Mirumoto
Chris: Hey! I’ll…well,
I’ll…you’d better…ahh, crap.
Kakita
Brent: Well, look at the time! I
guess you’d better be getting back to the battle…those Oni and Shadows
aren’t going to kill themselves! Heh,
heh, heh…thanks for stopping by, honorable Champion-sama!
Doji
Kuwanan (looking at watch): Actually, I’ve got a few minutes…
Kakita
Brent (resigned to his fate): OK…that’s…good…
Mirumoto
Chris: He wants to hang with us! Chill
a little…rock it down…
Doji
Kuwanan: Yes…something like that.
Mirumoto
Chris: So, Yul…can I call you Yul?
Doji
Kuwanan (reaching for naginata): ……………
Kakita
Brent: O MY KAMI.
The
End (Possibly for Real this Time)