An Interview with Matsu Nimuro

Kakita Brent: This will not degenerate into a shouting match, this will not degenerate into a shouting match...

Matsu Nimuro: Greetings, Keeper of the...

Kakita Brent: Crane rule, Lions can suck it!!!

Kakita Brent (covering face): Dammit...

Matsu Nimuro (shaking head): Well, I won't hold it against you, Crane.  It's not like seeing your girlie face is exactly on my wish list, either.  I have lots of things more important than this, what with being Lion Clan Champion and all  It's just that, well... <takes seat>

Kakita Brent: Hoshi threatened you too, huh.

Matsu Nimuro arranging his swords on daisho stand): ...Said he'd turn my head into a nice, thick soup.  Stupid, I brought you a severed head of my enemy as a gift.

Kakita Brent: Err, that's...great.  Thanks a lot for the gesture...though this is a Crane samurai's head...  Well, at least we can agree on that...we don't want to be here, and we don't like one another.  So let's get down to business: what in Jigoku are you guys doing, burning down Otosan Uchi?

Matsu Nimuro: It's cursed!  The stupid place is a magnet for trouble!  The Day of Thunder, Toturi naming everyone wearing black socks Kolat, and now this whole Daigotsu thing!  Good riddance to bad rubbish, I say.  After all, who needs a capital, really?  And as for the relics, important sites, and the history of it all...we'll build better relics!  Relics that Daigotsu will never destroy!

Kakita Brent: That and destroyed the biggest gathering-place for courtiers in the Empire...

Matsu Nimuro: Heh, yeah...that was more of a bonus, though.

Kakita Brent: You know, one would have thought when the call went out for the clans to "fight to save the Imperial City," that we would have, you know...SAVED THE IMPERIAL CITY!

Matsu Nimuro (shaking head): Yeah, the way it ended up, you would think that the Shadowlands won every single dang tournament...

Kakita Brent: Battle.

Matsu Nimuro: Battle, right...that's what I said.  I tell you, man, the whole thing reeked of rail-roading, right from the get-go...but what the Jigoku.  After all, at least I got to kill Goju Kyoden.

Kakita Brent (glancing over at giant Lion sword): That brings up an interesting point, the heck do you fight an iaijutsu duel with a no-daichi?  I mean, you're a pretty big guy yourself, but even Hida Kuon, had he the ability to use, or even spell iaijutsu, would have trouble drawing that thing in one move.

Matsu Nimuro (shakes head): You Crane, always doing things the wuss way.  You cut down on the timing when you just draw through the sheath, you know.

Kakita Brent (glancing at sword again): Well, that explains the duct tape...

Kakita Brent: Look, I know that we don't like each other anyway, Nimuro, but I gotta ask...Shiro no Yojin?

Matsu Nimuro (looking confused): What about it?

Kakita Brent: Um, your thoughts on how it was spontaneously retaken by the Lion Clan armies...or maybe how the Daidoji and Doji are preparing to take it back again...?  Come on, surely even you've gotta admit that Daidoji Uji's cool!

Matsu Nimuro (panicking, looking about): Sweet Shinsei, did you say Uji?!?  Daidoji Uji is here?!?  Yomi preserve us, we've got to get out of here!  The morale of the Lion can't take another pastel blue beating!

Kakita Brent: Err...wait, Nimuro, it's not...

Matsu Nimuro (dancing around, flailing arms): Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!  Not again!  NOT AGAIN!

Kakita Brent (watching as Nimuro flees into the wilderness): That has got to be one of the weirdest things I have EVER seen.  Well, I'm sure that there's noting in the mountains that will really do much damage to the 'Golden Lion of Toshi Ranbo'...well, except maybe Tamori.  Good night, folks!

The End (for now...)