An Interview with Togashi Satsu

Kakita Brent: Look, all that I'm saying is that I tried...heck, we've been from the Mantis Islands to the Shadowlands.  You can fire me if you want to (since I'm not being paid anyway) but I'm telling you, it's hopeless...

Togashi Satsu (covering eyes): I will not accept this...

Kakita Brent: You're just going to have t find yourself a new janitor, OK?

Togashi Satsu: That's easy for you to say.  In case you didn't notice, samurai have a code of proper discipline and respect.  Do you think that Mirumoto Tsuge will drop what he's doing to clean the temples?

Kakita Brent: Well, maybe if we asked one of the Dark Oracles to talk to him...

Kakita Brent: Wait a minute, what's the big deal anyway?  He's been gone for months and you haven't done much...not that you've been doing a whole lot of anything else, really...

Togashi Satsu: Hey, it's been a little hectic recently, in case you haven't noticed!  The celestial balance is going nuts with all these storylines being abruptly ended...and it's not like the Clan Janitor is what I'd call a big priority...

Kakita Brent (crossing arms): Would you call "Clan Champion" a big priority, Satsu?

Togashi Satsu: Oh for the love of...Look, I've got the glowy Togashi eye thing going here, all right...I'm practically the Champion already!  I turned into a real dragon, for Kami's sake!  What more do you want from me?

Kakita Brent: You didn't cross Rich Wulf early in the story arc, did you?

Togashi Satsu: Some words may have been said...

Kakita Brent: I thought so.  Well look, bottom line is that we have no janitor.  I think that I can get James to substitute on a short-term basis, but given his limited dexterity I'm not sure that's much better than having no one at all.  But before I go, I've got to ask: did you gain any other nifty powers from that whole Kokujin thing?  It seems like a lot of work just to get glowing eyes and that dragon thing...

Togashi Satsu (holding up glowing daisho): How about these?  Seems like an awful lot of trouble to go through for a pair of swords, though...

Kakita Brent: O MY KAMI!  Togashi Daisho!  Do you know many people have died trying to get this thing back?

Togashi Satsu (shrugs): Well, I guess that's good...

Kakita Brent: You don't sound excited...

Togashi Satsu (looking at swords): Well, it's strange.  When your family's daisho has been stolen your whole life, you tend not to train with said swords near as much.  I'm just glad Mitsu was the one using them...I've already cut myself four times!

Togashi Satsu: Look, just take them back to the Temple, OK?

Kakita Brent: Wait a minute, Satsu!  I came to you for some Kami-type guidance!  You can't just give me these swords and send me on my way.  I refuse to stroll off trusting in destiny like some clans I know.  We Crane demand answers!

Togashi Satsu: You know, I learned that, as a dragon, I can actually keep people alive AFTER I ignite them...

Kakita Brent: And thus our heroic quest ends abruptly...

* * * * *

Mirumoto Chris (sitting in front of daisho stand): ...and you see, that was when I realized that Kitao had become spontaneously tainted for some reason...not a surprise given her reputation, if you know what I mean...

Bayushi James (looking over at Hakumei): We are both stupider for listening to this.

Hakumei: !t c00ld B w0rs3.  W3 c00ld b h34r!ng 4b0u+ +h3 K0t3! 4g4!n...

It's not so bad.  There are far stupider things he could be discussing.

Mirumoto Chris (moving to door): Well, I've got to go.  Duty calls and all that.  Look James, tell Brent that I appreciate the rescue effort and all...I hope that it didn't cause you any trouble...

Bayushi James: A dislocated shoulder, rope burns, still no money AND Yoritomo Kumiko's "undying enmity" (whatever that is)...no, no trouble at all...by the way, any chance of you paying me before the remaining few members of the Empire end up dead or tainted?

Mirumoto Chris: Well, about that, you see, I just remembered that we were never authorized for Bloodsword purchases, and since Judgement is still in Brent's room, it's really the Crane Clan's problem, so...

<Slams door>

Kakita Brent (coming in from back door): Who was that?

Bayushi James: Freakin' Amway.  Hey, nice swords.

The End