An Interview Intended to be with Toku...





Kakita Brent (rushing into the Temple): Huff, huff…I guess I lost her…

Mirumoto Christopher: And you made it in time for the interview!  I'm impressed!

Kakita Brent: Guess that obsidian side weighs quite a bit.  So, who'd you book for this next exciting interview?

Mirumoto Christopher: Toku!

Kakita Brent:

Mirumoto Christopher: You know…Champion of the Monkey Clan…Imperial Major Player…

Kakita Brent: I'm leaving.  Hitomi's got to be around here somewhere…

Mirumoto Christopher: No you are not!  He'll be here any second!  You were in enough trouble last time!

Kakita Brent (Twenty minutes later): Can I leave now?

Mirumoto Christopher: Do you think he's coming?

Kakita Brent: Maybe it's those short legs of his.

Mirumoto Christopher: Maybe it's the exhaustion tokens…and NO JOKES!

Kakita Brent: Damn.

Mriumoto Christopher (after another twenty minutes): Let's go to the tapes!

Kakita Brent: I remember one of our earliest interviews, before I even lived here.  That prize-winning moment with Bayushi Shoju, smack dab in the middle of the Scorpion Coup!  Let's show that one!

Mirumoto Christopher: Are you sure?

Kakita Brent (rummaging through tapes): Yes!  Cue flashback! 

Mirumoto Christopher: ARRGH!


Kakita Brent (sporting his NEW Kakita blade): Hello Rokugan.  We come to you tonight in the middle of chaos and treachery.  Along with my co-host Mirumoto Christopher... 

Mirumoto Christopher: Konichiwa!

Kakita Brent: …We have been admitted into the captive capital of Otosan Uchi, to speak with the betrayer himself, murderer of our beloved Emperor (number 38, for those of you keeping track), Bayushi Shoju!

Mirumoto Christopher: We understand that this whole "Coup thing" is taking a lot out of you.  Thank you for taking a moment to speak with us.

Bayushi Shoju: mmmmbmmmmmbbmmmbbmbmmbbmbmmm…

Kakita Brent: Excuse me?

Mirumoto Christopher: Maybe if you just removed the mask…unless you have a face like Doji Satsume...

Kakita Brent: Yul Brenner with a scar?  I just hope Hoturi and Kuwanan take after their mother.


Kakita Brent (tackling Bayushi Shoju): Grab the damn mask!  Quick!

Mirumoto Christopher (holding mask and punctured side): I got it…but he got me…a little…oww…

Kakita Brent: Just hold it on there for a while…we'll drop by the Phoenix on our way out.

Bayushi Shoju: Was that really necessary?

Mirumoto Christopher: It'll make the interview go more smoothly.

Byushi Shoju: All right…what do you want to know, pitiful enemies?

Kakita Brent: …I'll let that drop…though I do have this NEW KAKITA BLADE…

Mirumoto Christopher: Yeah, yeah yeah…So, Shoju-sama, what exactly possessed you to do this?  I mean, the Emperor seemed like a nice guy.

Bayushi Shoju: Can you keep a secret?

Kakita Brent (looking at Mirumoto Christopher): Can we?

Mirumoto Christopher: Sure…I guess.

Bayushi Shoju: I opened the first Black Scroll…

Kakita Brent: ACK!

Bayushi Shoju: There I found an ancient prophecy…the doom of Rokugan would be the result of the last Hantei…

Mirumoto Christopher: You opened the Black Scroll?  …Well, go on.

Bayushi Shoju: So I took over the capital and KILLED THEM ALL!

Kakita Brent: Except one.

Bayushi Shoju: What?

Mirumoto Christopher: You know…I think the blood loss is getting a bit extreme…

Kakita Brent: Yeah, his last son is still alive…and safe.  You screwed up.

Bayushi Shoju: Well, I did kill off almost all of the Akodo.

Kakita Brent: Good!  Wait…didn't Togashi say something about "the last Akodo falling, then the last Hantei?"

Bayushi Shoju: O-MY-KAMI.

Kakita Brent: …Wow.  What a great line!

Mirumoto Christopher: The crows are flying, flying…to the distant mountains…

Kakita Brent: Ever think that you might actually be starting this whole prophecy thing by trying to stop it?

Bayushi Shoju (grabbing mask and swords): I have to go!  This interview is over!

Mirumoto Christopher: …Lah, lah, lah…

Kakita Brent: Was that blade poisoned?  Well, was it?


Kakita Brent: Ahh, memories…

Mirumoto Christopher: I knew there was a reason that I put that one at the bottom of the pile.  Now where the heck is Toku?

Kakita Brent: I don't know!  Maybe (giggling) maybe the ninja got him!

Mirumoto Christopher: A terrible Kolat plot!

Kakita Brent: Like I said…ninja.

Mirumoto Christopher: Well, thanks for sharing in my pain.  If you know of any antidotes for the next time I get stabbed by a Scorpion, I would appreciate it if you would send them here.  It's my health, after all.

Kakita Brent: Until next time…when we get a guest that ACTUALLY shows…good night.

The End (for now)