An Interview with Yoritomo Kumiko

Yoritomo Kumiko (looking up): OK, one more time, from the top...who are you?

Bayushi James: I'm Bayushi James, from Kyuden Ryu.

Yoritomo Kumiko: Uh huh, and...why are you here again?

Bayushi James: I'm hear because you kidnapped a Dragon Clan janitor who owes me money, and also because I was threatened in order to help.

Yoritomo Kumiko: OK, I'll buy that...but why are you hanging from my roof by your feet?

Bayushi James: Let's just say that the rumors of natural Scorpion stealth and agility extends only so far.

Yoritomo Kumiko (cutting James down from rope): Look, Bayushi, I don't know what you're talking about.  It's been a long time since I kidnapped someone, and I certainly don't have any Dragon janitor here.  Are you sure that you're not working for the Kolat, or that port-skipping Kitao?

Bayushi James: Look, how many Mantis Champions are there?  This shouldn't be this hard; it's not like I'm trying to find the true Yasuki daimyo!  Now hand him over!

Yoritomo Kumiko (rolling eyes): You certainly are a brazen one...

Bayushi James: That's right!  Brent went off to interrogate your boss, and I get stuck dodging past Akodo Kaneka's guards, having to beg Hakumei for ninja equipment, and getting bit by Yoritomo Komori's bats!  All this, and you're not even the right Mantis Clan Champion?  No way!  Now, hand him over!  Don't make me sic the Shadowed Tower on you!

Yoritomo Kumiko (rubbing temples): I-don't-have-him!

Bayushi James: I don't care!  Hand him over...or hand over one of your useless clan members!

Yoritomo Kumiko (leaning out window): Sumio, get your butt in here!  ...Wait a minute; what did you mean by that "my boss" statement?  I'm the daughter of Yoritomo; I don't have a boss.  I am the boss!

Bayushi James: You're tainted, right?  That makes Daigotsu your boss...or maybe Fu Leng...

Yoritomo Kumiko (grabbing James by the scruff of the neck): I am not!  I have had enough of that!  I have fought the Taint all of my life!  And I don't need to tell you that I am in complete control of my murderous rages!

Bayushi James (looking down at katana nervously): My, your arms are strong...and my, it does seem that Celestial Sword of yours is quite sharp.  Oh, what I wouldn't give for a distraction...ninja attack, cliched Shadowlands invasion...anything!

Yoritomo Sumio (from doorway): A Scorpion!  Eeeee!!! <Faints>

Bayushi James: Excellent.

* * * * *

Hakumei (eyeing Yoritomo Sumio): \/\/h4+ +h3 J!g0ku !s +h4+?  H3'z n0+ 4 [)r4g0n!

What in the world is that?  This man is no Mirumoto!

Bayushi James: Look, I don't want to deal with this right now.  He's close enough.

Yoritomo Sumio: A Crane ninja!  Eeeee!!!  <Faints>

Hakumei: \/\/h4+ [)![) ! [)0 +0 [)3s3r\/3 +h!s?

Why am I being tortured by the Fortunes to suffer at your side?

Bayushi James: Don't tell me we've forgotten how lousy most of that expansion of yours was?

Hakumei (covering face): 0h y34h...

That is true...very true.

To Be Continued...